Turnips: Hey mash, i went to this hotel it was fabulous, ya couldn't fault it.
Motwc: Ah c'mon surely you could fault it somewhere?
Turnips: noooooooo i'm telling ya mash.
Motwc: Did you have anything to eat.?
Turnips: yeah!
Motwc : What did you have?
Turnips: Food.
Motwc: "Jesus wept" ya were hardly eating shoes? sure what else can you eat?
Turnips: Crisps!
Motwc: Crisps are food!!
Cue lots of laughter, and turnips face turning bright red like a turkey eating a bag of nettles.